You could have just clicked the 'Watch this topic for replies' link down in the bottom left hand corner!hoshy wrote:*pointless post so I can keep track of what happened
And then there was six............
Moderator: martauto
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E30Mark
- E30 Zone Team Member

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- Location: Wimborne, Dorset
1 & 2 bed flats in Bournemouth areas, with parking
PM for details
PM for details
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mrLEE30
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 6589
- Joined: Tue Jan 18, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Sweating buckets in Bahrain
perhaps he had electrical problems with his fuel pump/central locking/etc that he couldn,t fix and had to leave the car at a French garage to be fixed by a spotty 16 year old monsieur who just cut the red and black wires shorted near the passengerside footwell and fixed it in five mins. leaving Brian so dispondant he sold his touring on the spot and bought a white Renault 4 (due to its similarity to a touring...... log your complaints here touring drivers
)
Brian can now be found solving problems on renault4.co.uk
brians new ''ride''......


Brian can now be found solving problems on renault4.co.uk
brians new ''ride''......



Does that put it in egosearch?E30Mark wrote:You could have just clicked the 'Watch this topic for replies' link down in the bottom left hand corner!hoshy wrote:*pointless post so I can keep track of what happened
E46 M3 CSL but dreaming of another E30.
Welcome back Brian. Hope all is well with you and yours.
Hopefully any dramas, just involve fixing up a new ?2 door?
About time you stopped gallivanting around the continent and came back to help us all fix our E30's
Hopefully any dramas, just involve fixing up a new ?2 door?
About time you stopped gallivanting around the continent and came back to help us all fix our E30's

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munky30
- 100% Pure Council
- Posts: 5388
- Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:00 pm
- Location: my own little world
+1 to the 'other' e30's?essbee wrote:Adding this to the wording of the title, I'd guess that while on holiday, one of Brians Tourings got written-off??? .....Or stolen???Brianmoooore wrote:Seven tourings before, unfortunately! (plus five other E30s).Theo325 wrote:Question is, did you have 5 or 7 e30's before?
(on a slightly more optimistic note than these harbingers of doom)
Welcome back... my car is broken, I need you brian! (joke)
duke wrote: I could throw a spastic round a corner with better precision
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josh-hocking
- Teenager with Taste !
- Posts: 2632
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- Location: In my garage (lytham st annes)
hurry up and telll the story
Formal education will make you a living. Self education will make you a fortune.
Find a job you like and you will never have to work a day in your life!
Find a job you like and you will never have to work a day in your life!
maybe it was a boring stroy like he only had 7 pounds left and bought a saxo?
and our replies are much more exciting?
i reckon the seventh touring was stolen by terrorists and used in a ram raid attempt on the assaination of a religious leader?
and our replies are much more exciting?
i reckon the seventh touring was stolen by terrorists and used in a ram raid attempt on the assaination of a religious leader?
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gareth
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 11009
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if brian now has one less E30 (for whatever reason) that's nothing to the myriad of dead and dying E30s scattering the land with electrical problems awaiting his return!!!!!!
i hope all is well brian! welcome back!
i hope all is well brian! welcome back!
Sole founder of Fe2O3-12V it's a lifestyle

LSD rebuilding / modification services provided, PM for details

LSD rebuilding / modification services provided, PM for details
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Gwynleym10
- E30 Zone Addict

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Hope everything is OK..
Must say you have been very helpful, even in your absence!
You answered all my questions on how to fit my new Alarm. The search facility is much like a virtual Brain!
Must say you have been very helpful, even in your absence!
You answered all my questions on how to fit my new Alarm. The search facility is much like a virtual Brain!
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Rosc0PColtrane
- Married to the E30 Zone

- Posts: 9757
- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: With Ceiling cat, watching you masturbate.
There should be a tech search icon called 'Virtual Brian'
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Morat
- E30 Zone Team Member

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- Location: The Peoples Republic of Yorkshire
I think the mods owe it to use to publish the IP of the computer he is sharing so we can work out where he is!
Hope you're OK Brian.
Hope you're OK Brian.
E30 Touring 0.35 cD - more slippery than prison soap 

Praise the Lard... and pass the dripping!

Praise the Lard... and pass the dripping!
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daimlerman
- **BANNED**
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Is Brian still lurking in the land of frogs legs and snails? Is he stranded and needs our help to recover himself/family/touring/caravan?
- Brianmoooore
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 49358
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:00 pm
Hello again!! Back home again now safely (have been for a couple of days or so, but have been too busy to come on here!).
Had a good run down to the south east of Germany with caravan in tow, for my holiday, and set up camp on a pitch beside an alpine stream in a campsite half way between Munich and Salzburg.
E30 touring performed faultlessly as ever.
Few pics showing the fantastic scenery in the area:

My kids messing about in the stream by the campsite.

Bit different backdrop to my local Spar at home!

One for Andyboy!

Lake nearby.

High up a mountain. Fantastic roads down to the village far below!

Several thousand feet up a very wet mountain, about to enter a few miles of tunnel.

This is my £10 ultra light weight laptop running Autoroute and GPS with which we find our way around. Has an overlay of all the fuel stations selling LPG throughout most countries in Europe.

Here's my poor 250,000+ mile touring returned to the place of its birth almost 19 years before, at Dingolfing, a few miles north east of Munich. Thought it might have been tempting fate at the time!
I've never been in a town with such a high proportion of BMWs - of all ages.
On the subject of the E30 scene generally in south east Germany, there were very few saloons around - just saw a handful - mainly iS's or iS lookalikes. By far the most common were cabs - mostly in first class order, and also plenty of tourings around as well, although about half of these were just ' cheap old cars ', with the other half appearing to be enthusiast owned.
We'd spent a week and a bit in the area, had done most of the 'attractions', and the novelty of the scenery was beginning to wear off, so we decided to head back north west to spend a couple of days (and laps) at a certain 'ring which just happened to be close to our homeward route!
Decamped, had just got past Munich on the autoroute towards Stuttgart, driving along on the inside lane of the two lane autoroute, minding my own business, at a steady 100kph, nothing much close in front of me, or behind me, and approaching some roadworks about a km in front.
All of a sudden a low flying Porsche virtually landed on the front left corner of my poor touring!!!!!
An old dear driving the Porsche (lethal combination, in any case), had slowed right down unnecessarily in the outside lane at the sight of a few brakelights up ahead because of the roadworks. A kid with bumfluff on his chin driving a Golf (even more lethal combination), totally failed to notice the slowing Porsche ahead of him, and gave it an almighty shunt up its rear left corner, launching it across the road at a 45 degree angle, to the same piece of tarmac that I was about to occupy. BIG impact as the Porsche lands on me, and then bounces back across the road to collect the Golf again!

The Golf!

The Porsche!

And mine!
Thought the oil cooler was gone at the time, but that's steering fluid running out from the car - the supply pipe had been cut down near where it enters the pump.
Headlamp glasses intact, although the back ends of both had been smashed off!
The damage appears localised at first sight, but that Porsche went in a long way! Wheel rim is dented, and back about 2" from where it should be (bent control arm), with metalwork tight back against it, air box and ABS pump are pushed back and detached from their mounts, coolant bottle has popped out of its mounts, but is still intact, windscreen locking strip has popped out for a short section where the rear of the bonnet pushed the scuttle in, driver's door (other side) fouls the wing when it's opened, top disc of the right hand engine mount had sheared from the rubber block, rear edge of the bonnet hangs out over the driver's wing about 2" from where it should be, but curiously, the bonnet opens and shuts perfectly, once I'd un jammed it. Damage at the rear as well! Towbar had bent upwards, duly smacking the bike rack mounted on it against the tailgate, leaving two dents.
Several minutes later the Police arrive in their BMs and deal with everything efficiently without closing the autoroute for two hours like the British police love to do. Statements are taken, ADAC flatbeds arrive, and we are duly transported (paying nearly £300 for the privilege!) to a nearby garage forecourt.
Several phone calls to the UK later it became apparent that my insurance was going to be about as usefull as a chocolate fireguard. All they would do is send an assessor to the garage and recover the car to the UK if it was deemed 'economically repairable' or write it off on the spot if not.
Either way, the caravan was my problem, and I know a cat B/C when I see one in any case.
Garage owner couldn't have been more helpful, even contacting my insurance company himself, finding someone there who could speak German, and tried to sort things out.
So, out with the tools and get to work! Took all the liners, undertray, etc., bumper, front panel and wing off to see what we had.
Savaged the rear of the wheel housing with a large hammer to give the wheel some space. Spun it. Still seemed to be round and true in spite of the dented rim, so I swapped it with the rear left (brand new Toyo Proxes, BTW).
Control arm was badly twisted, with the outer ball joint in danger of exceeding its maximum 'tilt' angle as the suspension moved, but I convinced myself it would be (just) OK, and worked on the bodywork with my large hammer until dark!
A night on the side of the (24 hour, trucks welcome) forecourt didn't result in a great deal of sleep, but the owner had kindly given us access to a shower and toilet, and to an electric socket.
I was up at the crack of dawn and back to work, and by the time the garage owner turned up, I had re tracked the steering, taken the steering belt off and given the car a test run (less bodywork) up the road half a mile and back. Apart from low speed manouvering, the lack of steering assistance was hardly noticeable, and the handling felt OK.
Garage owner then produced a 4 tonne portapower which was put to very good use, and by two in the afternoon the bodywork and bumper was back on, a bulb taped inside the remains of the dipped beam headlamp and connected up, and the light itself fitted in place with string, wire and tank tape.
Garage man gave my repairs an ADAC approval, although he was no happier with the control arm than I was, offered me a job, and then we set off again - after just over 24 hours.

The finished job!
'Ring visit was out of the question now, of course, as, even if I got there, I wouldn't take a car around in that condition, so we headed for Heidelberg, set up a satellite receiver, and all we did all day was sit around and watch the Turkish GP, apart from taking the wheel off again and giving the rear of the wheel well a bit more 'treatment', as there were signs of tyre/metal contact.

This last pic shows just how far back the wheel was!
Straight to Calais and then sister's place after Heidelberg, with just one overnight stop (couldn't run in the dark!) on the way.
Couples of days chilling at my sister's and I'm now home.
Control arm has been changed, and, after a few more minutes with my portapower, a headlamp unit fitted as well and aligned.
Car is now back in use until the assessor sees it and writes it off, at which point it will cease to be insured, so that will be its end. RIP.
Now the fun starts with an international insurance claim!
Had a good run down to the south east of Germany with caravan in tow, for my holiday, and set up camp on a pitch beside an alpine stream in a campsite half way between Munich and Salzburg.
E30 touring performed faultlessly as ever.
Few pics showing the fantastic scenery in the area:

My kids messing about in the stream by the campsite.

Bit different backdrop to my local Spar at home!

One for Andyboy!

Lake nearby.

High up a mountain. Fantastic roads down to the village far below!

Several thousand feet up a very wet mountain, about to enter a few miles of tunnel.

This is my £10 ultra light weight laptop running Autoroute and GPS with which we find our way around. Has an overlay of all the fuel stations selling LPG throughout most countries in Europe.

Here's my poor 250,000+ mile touring returned to the place of its birth almost 19 years before, at Dingolfing, a few miles north east of Munich. Thought it might have been tempting fate at the time!
I've never been in a town with such a high proportion of BMWs - of all ages.
On the subject of the E30 scene generally in south east Germany, there were very few saloons around - just saw a handful - mainly iS's or iS lookalikes. By far the most common were cabs - mostly in first class order, and also plenty of tourings around as well, although about half of these were just ' cheap old cars ', with the other half appearing to be enthusiast owned.
We'd spent a week and a bit in the area, had done most of the 'attractions', and the novelty of the scenery was beginning to wear off, so we decided to head back north west to spend a couple of days (and laps) at a certain 'ring which just happened to be close to our homeward route!
Decamped, had just got past Munich on the autoroute towards Stuttgart, driving along on the inside lane of the two lane autoroute, minding my own business, at a steady 100kph, nothing much close in front of me, or behind me, and approaching some roadworks about a km in front.
All of a sudden a low flying Porsche virtually landed on the front left corner of my poor touring!!!!!
An old dear driving the Porsche (lethal combination, in any case), had slowed right down unnecessarily in the outside lane at the sight of a few brakelights up ahead because of the roadworks. A kid with bumfluff on his chin driving a Golf (even more lethal combination), totally failed to notice the slowing Porsche ahead of him, and gave it an almighty shunt up its rear left corner, launching it across the road at a 45 degree angle, to the same piece of tarmac that I was about to occupy. BIG impact as the Porsche lands on me, and then bounces back across the road to collect the Golf again!

The Golf!

The Porsche!

And mine!
Thought the oil cooler was gone at the time, but that's steering fluid running out from the car - the supply pipe had been cut down near where it enters the pump.
Headlamp glasses intact, although the back ends of both had been smashed off!
The damage appears localised at first sight, but that Porsche went in a long way! Wheel rim is dented, and back about 2" from where it should be (bent control arm), with metalwork tight back against it, air box and ABS pump are pushed back and detached from their mounts, coolant bottle has popped out of its mounts, but is still intact, windscreen locking strip has popped out for a short section where the rear of the bonnet pushed the scuttle in, driver's door (other side) fouls the wing when it's opened, top disc of the right hand engine mount had sheared from the rubber block, rear edge of the bonnet hangs out over the driver's wing about 2" from where it should be, but curiously, the bonnet opens and shuts perfectly, once I'd un jammed it. Damage at the rear as well! Towbar had bent upwards, duly smacking the bike rack mounted on it against the tailgate, leaving two dents.
Several minutes later the Police arrive in their BMs and deal with everything efficiently without closing the autoroute for two hours like the British police love to do. Statements are taken, ADAC flatbeds arrive, and we are duly transported (paying nearly £300 for the privilege!) to a nearby garage forecourt.
Several phone calls to the UK later it became apparent that my insurance was going to be about as usefull as a chocolate fireguard. All they would do is send an assessor to the garage and recover the car to the UK if it was deemed 'economically repairable' or write it off on the spot if not.
Either way, the caravan was my problem, and I know a cat B/C when I see one in any case.
Garage owner couldn't have been more helpful, even contacting my insurance company himself, finding someone there who could speak German, and tried to sort things out.
So, out with the tools and get to work! Took all the liners, undertray, etc., bumper, front panel and wing off to see what we had.
Savaged the rear of the wheel housing with a large hammer to give the wheel some space. Spun it. Still seemed to be round and true in spite of the dented rim, so I swapped it with the rear left (brand new Toyo Proxes, BTW).
Control arm was badly twisted, with the outer ball joint in danger of exceeding its maximum 'tilt' angle as the suspension moved, but I convinced myself it would be (just) OK, and worked on the bodywork with my large hammer until dark!
A night on the side of the (24 hour, trucks welcome) forecourt didn't result in a great deal of sleep, but the owner had kindly given us access to a shower and toilet, and to an electric socket.
I was up at the crack of dawn and back to work, and by the time the garage owner turned up, I had re tracked the steering, taken the steering belt off and given the car a test run (less bodywork) up the road half a mile and back. Apart from low speed manouvering, the lack of steering assistance was hardly noticeable, and the handling felt OK.
Garage owner then produced a 4 tonne portapower which was put to very good use, and by two in the afternoon the bodywork and bumper was back on, a bulb taped inside the remains of the dipped beam headlamp and connected up, and the light itself fitted in place with string, wire and tank tape.
Garage man gave my repairs an ADAC approval, although he was no happier with the control arm than I was, offered me a job, and then we set off again - after just over 24 hours.

The finished job!
'Ring visit was out of the question now, of course, as, even if I got there, I wouldn't take a car around in that condition, so we headed for Heidelberg, set up a satellite receiver, and all we did all day was sit around and watch the Turkish GP, apart from taking the wheel off again and giving the rear of the wheel well a bit more 'treatment', as there were signs of tyre/metal contact.

This last pic shows just how far back the wheel was!
Straight to Calais and then sister's place after Heidelberg, with just one overnight stop (couldn't run in the dark!) on the way.
Couples of days chilling at my sister's and I'm now home.
Control arm has been changed, and, after a few more minutes with my portapower, a headlamp unit fitted as well and aligned.
Car is now back in use until the assessor sees it and writes it off, at which point it will cease to be insured, so that will be its end. RIP.
Now the fun starts with an international insurance claim!
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Jesus325iTouring
- Frog freak !

- Posts: 11356
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Omnipresent!
Brian you are a hero of immeasurable proportions


X5 V8 for thrills, CRV for chills, Range Rover P38 V8 for sooooo much aggravation...
- Kos
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 15546
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: London / Cyprus
- Contact:
nice to hear about friendly germans
how long have you had this one for brian, it sounds like its served you well over the years !
how long have you had this one for brian, it sounds like its served you well over the years !
PUKAR DESIGNS - Reproduction BMW Decals Labels Sticker & Number Plates
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320Touring
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 12316
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Glasgow (Scotland)
Aww, that poor touring
glad everyone is ok though.
Excellent repair work on the car sir. I reckon you could save her
glad everyone is ok though.
Excellent repair work on the car sir. I reckon you could save her
The big Unit Parts Clear out Make me an offer on parts!
http://www.e30zone.net/modules.php?name ... 81#2766881
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beardymat
- E30 Zone Squatter

- Posts: 1979
- Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: sheffield, city of steel, and rust apparently
this is the second return of a great e30 mind tonight, and both with heroic tales of the humble e30
welcome back brian, glad to see that only metal was bent and no-one was hurt which is as always the main thing.
congratulations on the roadside repair, couldnt have managed better myself.
by the way, do you know your son is a ginger, lol
welcome back brian, glad to see that only metal was bent and no-one was hurt which is as always the main thing.
congratulations on the roadside repair, couldnt have managed better myself.
by the way, do you know your son is a ginger, lol
No longer self employed but still available for welding duties.
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daimlerman
- **BANNED**
- Posts: 15968
- Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 11:00 pm
- Location: Grumpy Old Man
Hope you did NOT say to the Germans,'We won the war,this is nothing....'Good luck with your claim,glad that you and yours are unhurt.
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Gwynleym10
- E30 Zone Addict

- Posts: 3650
- Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: London/Cymru
- Contact:
Well done Brian! Top roadside repair. Could not have done that in something French...
One of those situations where you can't do anything!
Can i suggest £75 for first call european breakdown in future? Even though the car won't break down, you'll at least get recovered OK in the event of a crash.
One of those situations where you can't do anything!
Can i suggest £75 for first call european breakdown in future? Even though the car won't break down, you'll at least get recovered OK in the event of a crash.
- Brianmoooore
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 49358
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:00 pm
Had it for just over eleven years, been ultra reliable, and, in the few times it has let me down, it's never once 'failed to proceed' after self administered roadside attention.Kos wrote:how long have you had this one for brian, it sounds like its served you well over the years !
- Brianmoooore
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 49358
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:00 pm
Insurance company will declare otherwise. I reckon this could be a 'B'.320Touring wrote: I reckon you could save her
I think the chassis rails are straight, but the bodywork at the front above there appears to be lozenged. The wing back into the driver's door, and wind noise from the top of the driver's door are the give aways.
Nothing a jig couldn't sort, though.
- Brianmoooore
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 49358
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:00 pm
I know! I tell him frequently! Nothing to do with my side of the family, though. On the brighter side, his hair is darkening quite a bit recently, and has been lightened up quite a bit by the sun on holiday.beardymat wrote:by the way, do you know your son is a ginger,
- Brianmoooore
- E30 Zone Team Member

- Posts: 49358
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:00 pm
Too late now, and statistically it won't happen again, but I expect the wife will insist on something the next time we go. I object to being asked to pay the same premium for breakdown insurance as someone who drives a Ford or Fiat, etc! (Or even more, since the car is over 10 years old!)Gwynleym10 wrote:Can i suggest £75 for first call european breakdown in future? Even though the car won't break down, you'll at least get recovered OK in the event of a crash.
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Rosc0PColtrane
- Married to the E30 Zone

- Posts: 9757
- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: With Ceiling cat, watching you masturbate.
Good work Bri! After seeing the golf and the porker, I was expecting more damage visually! Think you were quite lucky mate.
OWt wrong with being ginger, Matt!
OWt wrong with being ginger, Matt!



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