Bollocks!! Bloody wildlife! Pic..

[Gibson]

I once ran over a chicken on my mountain bike.

Does that count?

That has to be one of the funniest things i have ever imagined!

[Jhonno]

Dan, I have just had an email from the badgers family, They are finding things tough without the extra income.

Just look at their sad faces

Sad faces? That ones getting head..... They mourn differently in the badger world..

[Jhonno]

You can almost imagine it


"oh man i accidently pushed bob in the road he got run over by 7.5 tonner! Bitch get over here its blow job time"

Would explain mass death in the badger world

[Rosc0PColtrane]

Dan, I have just had an email from the badgers family, They are finding things tough without the extra income.

Just look at their sad faces

"Mrs Badger had to resort to soliciting, after Mr Badger, the main bread winner was unfortunately run over by some 1980's relic. Business was great, but the pimp was always about to take his cut."

[gooner1]

Dan, I have just had an email from the badgers family, They are finding things tough without the extra income.

Just look at their sad faces

Fear not, Bob,s life was,nt entirely in vain.

[325iSportMark]

Then there's always this one that did the rounds a while back






Hope no-one is having their dinner while reading this!!

[march109]

Actually I think I'm hungrier now.

[nickso]

my uncle hit a cow some years back. the cow was ****** but still alive. being a coarse fellow but a staunch conservationist he went back and finished it off with his tyre iron. the farmer thanked him for it.

I can just imagine the faces of passers by watching him club a cow to death.

Messy but had to be done

Me Myself and Irene anyone?

ive not seen it, does a similar thing happen in the film?

i have an aversion to jim carrey, im on pills and everything.

[Gibson]

I found this sign post in the locality of old-skool's house

[Grrrmachine]

Haha, Gibson, I've only just noticed the quote!

[stonesie]

I've not hit any animals in the E30... yet.

Hit a pidgeon in one of the new buses the other day, it came out of a tree at the side of the road and i hit it at about 50, it bounced off the windscreen in a ball of feathers straight into the front of a quarry wagon going the other way , it didn’t crack the screen but left a nice dusty silhouette of a spread-eagled bird on there .

In the Escrote i managed to loose a mirror to a Pheasant, but the biggest road-kill machine i have had was an old metro, got a rabbit one night up near ripon and the thing went spinning across the road on it's head 'break danceing'... that was one of many.

The one that made me laugh the most though, that was a chav cat, it must have been a chav, it was sauntering across the road looking straight at this car coming the other way untill its head bounced off the cars front bumper, it ran off pretty quick then.

[Jhonno]

Is more bent that it looks in the pic.. Its basically touching the cross member behind it. Good job I dont have an oil cooler!!

[shane325i]

Oh dear!Could have been worse,i hit a horse in my taxi a couple of years back,well the horse hit me.I was driving past,very slowly i might add so as not to scare the horse,when it reared up and smashed into the side of my car.It ripped the door mirror off and left a huge chunk of leg dangling from the wreckage! Wasnt pretty but i had a car full of passengers so i was covered,the horse limped home and was fine after £8000 worth of vets bills

[ChrisiS]

In terms of roadkill, I worked as a valeter for a local garage/bodyshop a few years ago, and an Escort came into our bodyshop that had hit a badger, clearly at some pace and the rad was wrapped round the front of the engine and was told later that one of the engine mounts had been shifted.......Im guessing it wasnt a legal speed type impact!

My dad hit one a year or so ago in his megane (eww!) and it tore the front bumper off and damaged the intercooler badly enough it needed to be replaced.

I had a pigeon go through the headlight on my uno- Literally caved it in!

About a week before the discovery came off the road as well I hit a fox, whilst it was killed, which is obviously quite sad I did get the comedy sound effect of it striking the steering guard, then the front diff-pan then the rear axle. Was quite a lot of blood all over my steering guard as it made contact with one of my recovery points in quite a big way! living in the middle of nowhere always seem to end up hitting stuff- I ran over a badger and hit numerous rabbits last year- Doesnt matter in a Disco with a 13 inches of clearance between the diffs and the ground, full underbody protection (steering &sump guard/diff guards/tank guard!) quite as much though!

Apparently it was a rabbit ruined the valance on my e30 before I had it?

chris

[Rosc0PColtrane]

Then there's always this one that did the rounds a while back






Hope no-one is having their dinner while reading this!!

Brings a whole new meaning to KFC Frive Thru!

[325iSportMark]

Then there's always this one that did the rounds a while back






Hope no-one is having their dinner while reading this!!

Brings a whole new meaning to KFC Drive Thru!

[fuzzy]

i used to turn my engine off to coast downhill to catch the pigeons unaware at my old house....
i know im a bad person.

[stonesie]

Flying rats, i've never got one intentionally though

[robbo86]

That goes for the UK anyway, I wouldn't fancy taking the legs out from underneath a moose and seeing it topple through the windscreen...

when i worked in the states, and we were allowed to use the job cars (GMC Denali was my favourite.... fooking gorgeous) they made us all sit and have a lecture on what to do if faced with a moose either in person or in a motor, then they showed us some pictures of cars totalled by moose or meese or moosen... (brian regan anyone) or whatever they are called....

day after changing my brakes i had to test them to not hit a pheasant.... they worked fortunately for the pheasant

[robbo86]

How did you determine the sex of said badger!?

Well its cost me money, and obviously took a disliking to my car? Those are female traits right?

i am crying wiht laughter

[march109]

what do you do when faced with a moose in person exactly?

[spook]

what do you do when faced with a moose in person exactly?

Become a train driver

[robbo86]

i dont remember exactly, i think brake had grit your teeth and hope that the yank tanks can stop in time

unless you mean in person, then you tear your shirt off and attempt to wrestle it...... thats my way of saying i cant remember

i watched an episode of police camera street cops uk or whatever it was called.... bloke went to a call where a motorcyclist had veered across the road for no apparent reason

turns out a pheasant had come through his visor...... he looked like he had been been senseless with a tyre iron......

mind you he could have just run into nickso......

just looking att hat picture of the pheasnat thru the window of the porsche, thats gotta be pretty grim, i mean look at those splats of flesha nd blood on the headrest, which would be face height, when you get all that shit splat over your face surely your natural reaction is to lick your lips

[gareth]

when you get all that shit splat over your face surely your natural reaction is to lick your lips

I've culled wildlife on several occasions with various cars, most recently on the way back frm the ring i ran over a freshly squished badger in my E30, due to the drop, i felt it rolling and squelching along the underside of the car at about 90mph (still on the autobahn obviously ) luckily there was no damage but the back of the car was a misted in blood and guts that it whipped up

in my RS2000, i tried to stop to miss 3 bunnies that were in the road (no room to swerve) and thought i'd managed it until the engine spluttered a bit... that was when one of the bunnies fluffy floppy ears got sucked up into the fanbelt and it unravelled itself round the front of the engine bay! messy!

oh, and i was once ut on my mountain bike and a rat ran across the path in front of me, straight into the front wheel. rat salami that wasn't nice as i got a face full of it

[gooner1]

when you get all that shit splat over your face surely your natural reaction is to lick your lips

oh, and i was once ut on my mountain bike and a rat ran across the path in front of me, straight into the front wheel. rat salami that wasn't nice as i got a face full of it

Bet you would,nt of complained if it had been a Beaver

[old_skool]

That Porsche must have been doing some very serious speed for that to have happened. I've hit pheasants that big plenty of times and they've always glanced off the angle of the screen never breaking it. That is absolutely insane

[MarkF]

The best thing i killed in the country was a boyed up Saxo VTR!!! The lad driving was less then impressed as he was uninsured and the front of has car was f**ked!!! Ha ha ha!

I wasnt to fussed as was driving my offroader and believe it or not the 4" steel box section front bumper didnt even notice it happened!!! SHAME!

[Morat]

That Porsche must have been doing some very serious speed for that to have happened. I've hit pheasants that big plenty of times and they've always glanced off the angle of the screen never breaking it. That is absolutely insane

I was thinking the same thing, gotta be an autobahn incident I'd say.

[jaistanley]

The best thing i killed in the country was a boyed up Saxo VTR!!! The lad driving was less then impressed as he was uninsured and the front of has car was f**ked!!! Ha ha ha!

I wasnt to fussed as was driving my offroader and believe it or not the 4" steel box section front bumper didnt even notice it happened!!! SHAME!

Good stuff. Another un-insured chav off the road. I do hope you did the resposible thing and report the incident to the police as you should always do in the event of an accident!