For sale ad euphemisms

[Nay]

One of a kind... lexus lights and home spray jobs.

[Royalratch]

Great thread!



First to see will buy - nobody's come to view it.

Will throw in new cambelt and gaskets - you'll need to do these as soon as you leave my driveway.

Tires are like new - but each one is designed and manufactured in a different corner of the globe.

All electrics work - manual windows.

Below average mileage - 30,000 mile gap in service history/MOT/V5 etc.

No expense spared - on this ad, but plenty on the car.

[beemerbird]

Will hate to see it go - hopefully will manage to keep a straight face until purchaser has driven it round the corner

[Rodderz]

I'm selling this for my mate who doesn't have internet access!

Yeah right you CUN7!!

[Ranchero]

Priced to sell = Any offers accepted.

[Royalratch]

It's never let me down - until yesterday and badly, which is why I'm selling.

[capri_rob]

Slight electrical fault = None of the electrics work apart from the lights on the dash - which refuse to go out.

Needs minor attention = Bring a trailer

[beemerbird]

Been in the same family for twelve years - I have eight brothers and six sisters for a start...

[capri_rob]

Good Tow Car = Shagged rear suspension & constant clutch slip

[capri_rob]

Any statement by a seller which starts "I've been told........" will be a lie.

[rubber_duck89]

Long MOT = "it expirers when you get to the end of the road"
"real head turner" = and theyre all saying what a cun7 you look
"sunroof has no leaks" = "you might as well fit a shower"
"re-listed due to timewaster" = "it didnt reach my grossly over inflated reserve so im trying again"
"interior needs a valet" = "cum stains on the back seat"
"low mileage" = "new clocks"
"mature owner" = "been backed into a wall"
"original stereo" = "right up your street if your faveorate song is- static"

[dano0]

genuine sport . from birmingham

genuine sport says on log book and every thing ... no log book avalible

[jaymos]

Any statement by a seller which starts "I've been told........" will be a lie.

like theres a knocking noise coming from the front of the car, ive been told its a loose belt and will be a cheap fix - the engine is on its last legs and a remortgage is needed.

[e301988325i]

Just serviced - I've wiped the oil filter clean.

[Ranchero]

Loads of paperwork = Glovebox rammed with parking tickets.

[Blitz]

Just been resprayed - With Halfords aerosols

[cecotto479]

Pulls like a train - slows down going up hills.

[rh306]

50p sized rust bubble on rear arch - complete inner and outer rear arches required + complete rear half respray which will cost three times more than the purchase price

[rubber_duck89]

not really a euphamism but i saw and advert that said "unique registation number" i thought they were all unique?

[jaymos]

Any inspection welcome - as long as its Tim nice but dim

[dano0]

garaged all its life ... always at the garage being sorted

[pukar]

bmw individual paint = "monkey p1ss" yellow

[Felix79]

325i Sport - Locaion Birmingham

[Alex]

This is a genuine Motorsport alpina Limited Edition - A council chariot


Interior like new - Stained to death by nicotine with fag burns all over the place complete with an ash tray full of fag ends

[sweep]

Council estate smokey and the bandit car,runs well on 3 quids worth of petrol.

[Theo]

Not for the faint hearted = 318is/M42 powered

[Alex]

Ideal cheap Runabout - Basically Most of it is fooked

[bss325i]

Just had a painstaking restoration - bogged up with P40 and blown over by "Kev" down the arches.

[capri_rob]

Will do 0-60 in easy under 6 seconds and did 200bhp on the rollers recently but I lost the printout. £295 ovno.

[dano0]

genuine recaros .. bmw sports seats

genuine 17" inch alpinas ..... bk (insert what you want

[Felix79]

Not for the faint hearted = 318is/M42 powered

Hahaha spot on !

[Ranchero]

Appreciating classic = Clapped out old banger.

[GC318]

rare, appreciating classic

(no one ever wanted it and because no one else in my street has one it must be worth something)

[Alex]

No expense Spared - In the halfrauds bargin bin

[Grrrmachine]

A much sought after vehicle - by the local constabulary