f*****g dozy women drivers!!!!!

[TPS]

Why do parents have to drive their offspring to school?
Both the wife and I walked or cycled when we were school age.
Our lad was walked to school untill he went to secondary school,then he cycled.
'Schools closed',make a hell of a difference to city traffic levels,perhaps if 'school run' was an insurance catagory risk in the same way that 'modified cars' are,parents would start walking again.
Anyway,Gareth,I have a spare bumper or two stashed away if you need one!

100% agree, my sister & I had to walk or get the bus. If I asked for a lift I was told I had a pair of legs, use them!

[gareth]

If you are going to confront her you need to make it look worse than it is, readjust the LH wing, pull the arch liner out a bit, bash the number plate up a bit more, when you do see her tell her you've been quoted £900 repair costs as the front panel is obviously damaged, dont forget to mention the 6 points that comes with the "leaving the scene" offence and how badly insurers look upon it

haha, you're as subtle as clown rape! i like your style though.

to be honest, judging by the fact she can't afford shampoo for her manky hair, she won;t be paying £xxx to me any time soon. neither do i want the hassle of the insurance companies getting involved. i want to see her squirm, get humiliated (in the playground preferably!!!) and get a call from the plod to put the wind up her. a moral victory accompanied by £50 will do me nicely!

oh and before everyone judges me for driving my kids to school, it's the best one around, 0.5 miles from my work and 4 miles from my home and 12 miles from their mother's cave. they're only 5 and 7 so, no, i'm not fecking walking them!

[DanThe]

Money first, if she doesnt cough up then out comes plan B

[gareth]

plan B is already, err, planned
my ex's new bloke has a transit tipper (fooking pikey!) and he's offered to drive it down the side of her brat carrier for a laugh!!!

[DJL1987]

haha, you're as subtle as clown rape! i like your style though.

Quite possibly the best saying, ever.

[accesspecialist]

Its not just school run mums you have to worrie about. I pulled up at the lights behind a red vw transporter van then when the lights changed and we moved into 2 lanes I pulled out and started to overtake but the van driver pulled out just as my bonnet was comming level with his rear bumper so I braked to avoid a crash. He then indicated and looked in his mirror. A bit late if you ask me. Then he wound down his window and started giving me the wanker sign. Unfair as this was I ignored him. We stoped at the next set of lights and he stuck his head out the window and started shouting somthing. The lights changed and he moved on very slowly and I followed about 2 car lengths behind as I was going that way. He then stoped while the rest of the trafic was moving on so I went round the inside of him. He then set chase flashing his lights and shouting. We continued like this untill the last roundabout before my estate at which point I continued going round and round the roundabout and shouted "what have I done?" to which he replied "pull over you F#**ing c**t" I asked again what have I done? and he said "driving right up my arse, pull over you ******* ****, I'm going to slit your ******* throte".
Needless to say I didn't stop but drove straight to the local police station with him still in tow. He unfortunately didn't stop at the police station and I failed to get his full number plate so he's still at large.

Sorry for going off topic but I felt the need to share.

In respect to what happened to you I feel for you and hate people like that. I would say avoid the insurers as much as possible and if you have to, go through her insurance not yours or best yet just get cash from the daft bint. Best of luck resolving the matter.

[Falkster]

That would have really p1ssed me off!!! It's all scare tactics, he knows he's done something wrong so instead of a wave of acknowlegement he gets on the offensive. I had the same near us where there is a merge in turn section at the end of the by pass. This guy was glued to the bumper of the car in front so I thought I'd just slip it in behind but he slowed do so I couldn't do that (he must have had a bad day). I tried to get in front and behind another couple of times by which time Sarah thought I was going to explode. He was calling me loads of names and I stayed calmer than expected and ask him if he knew what merge in turn meant. The abuse went on for the mile we had to drive on that road then he turned off and I saw where he parked his car. Half of me wanted to have a pop but the other half (Sarah) didn't.
I got up really early the next day and sat on his patio furniture until he came out to get into his car! His face was a picture, I held my hand out to shake his and said 'i'm the f**king ugly bald c**t you wanted to hurt yesterday'.
It's amazing how people change when they're not in their car. I walk passed his house from time to time and if I see him I stand and wave through his living room window - I even showed him our new puppy. He must think I'm mental cos this has been going on for 3 years but I bet he never kicks off in his car anymore. I told him I hadn't decided whether I was going to knock f**k out of him yet!!

[Royalratch]

I don't even hate to say it - women cannot drive. Driving is not merely operating a vehicle FFS!

99% of near death experiences I've ever had in car, motorbike or bike were because of women. They are on another planet.

1) Taking ages to park - even in a micro car.
2) Mirrors all lined up for eye liner reviews instead of me coming down the bike lane!
3) The lane discipline of a... well, a woman.

The school runs on my route to work are like a Circus. And it's all Ranges, Cayennes and Q7's.

Don't bother with cops and insurance over a license plate, just get her next time and give her what for. If the bumper is damaged then release the hounds.

This is old as dirt but ALWAYS worth a view:
[youtube][/youtube][/youtube]

[gooner1]

It was a Woman that caused me to have my first crash.
She was walking down Stamford High St, in the tightest, shortest mini skirt
i had ever seen. The Transit i was driving collided with the Bus that stopped to pick up
fares. The half dozen hairy a*sed Scaffs, sat in the back playing three card Brag,
were not happy when their lagers, cards and coinage all shot under the front seats.

Bloody Women, eh!!!!

[DanThe]

I had some foul looking miserable old bint hounding the back of my E34 the other week, 2 lanes that turn into three, im in the right lane and this brand new volvo cab thing is catching me up quite fast (im already over the speed limit) so I start to line myself up for the middle lane and she dives into the left hand lane inches away from me and gets on the horn, id been watching the mirror as it looked like she wanted to undertake me so when the horn came on I stood on the brakes, luckily for her the volvo could stop quicker

[Royalratch]

I love stamping the brakes on at hi-speed when some fool is harassing your rear.

They always immediately vanish once they've been shocked with a taste of the Mad Max Psycho Death Brake maneuver.

[gareth]

it works better when you have a large engine. just drop several gears instead of braking. it has a similar effect but without the brake lights as a warning. this really sh1ts up the tailgating fool, especially if you leave it late enough that only a large dose of you loud pedal (you're already in the right gear for this) prevents the muppet slamming into your car.

[Duke137]

I always walked to school, even when there was a monsoon and I lived about 2 miles from my school at the time.

Depends how old the kids are though I guess.

I would just do as others have mentioned and get as much money as possible out of her next time you see her.

[Falkster]

I always walked to school, even when there was a monsoon and I lived about 2 miles from my school at the time.

Depends how old the kids are though I guess.

I would just do as others have mentioned and get as much money as possible out of her next time you see her.

I did the same but parents are more concerned about the safety of the kids these days but I presume there will be an element of showing whether they are the best Chelsea tractor driver or they have the most expensive tracksuit in your local scratter school or who's got the biggest clown pendant!!!

[stonesie]

When me and my brother were in first school we were walked by my mum every day, even in snow we were plonked in the sledge and dragged to school, about a mile iirc.



And one of my more serious crashes involved a woman coming round a corner in the middle of the road and crashing into my front wing, It folded the wing onto the tyre so my car ended up embedded in a stone wall after taking out a small tree... Not a bad effort for a vauxhall nova, her golf (then brand new MK4) had a couple of small dents and scratches and the insurance sided with her

[George]

Women + cars = fail.

Here's a great example.

Few years back, my dad is due to pick up my sister from school. He's sitting in the car, engine off, handbrake up. School teacher in the bay opposite reverses back, staight into the front of the E36!





You'd think this is clear cut 100% liability - oh no. She claims it is 50:50 - apparently it was dark and the car is black thus difficult to see it (!?!?) and secondly my dad should have warned her by beeping the horn (diff to do with the engine off).

This took 8 months to sort via insurance (100% in our favour of course).

[Nay]

My first accident involved a 77yo women going over the speed limit on freshly soaked roads in the middle of summer. Slippy.

Insurance sided with her. Stereotypicalising a 21yo in a 535i as a bad driver... compared to the muppet old lady who was too old to drive, going faster than the speed limit by an iffy junction on slippy roads. She saw me as she came round the corner (I was still in the lane off the road, but with <1ft into the road as you do need to try and see) and being a big main road and just going round me, she slammed the brakes and went across the front of her car. My fault.

[FASTFREDDIE]

i feel for you mate,the same thing happend to me at my daughters school.

id left my L reg touring parked with my 21yrold daughter inside while i went to collect the 8yrold. some fooooking doris was parked behind, she drove off taking some of the touring
with her! my daughter was shouting at the doris who just looked at my daughter and drove off.

the next morning i waited for the doris to come into the playground and confronted her in front of everyone.

i was more pished off that she had seen and heard my daughter but still fooked off!
it took the pish the cheeky coont.

now when shes parking the other parents are on her watching her every move.

[gareth]

well i popped to the school this morning armed with a note to put under her window but as i arrived, she was leaving... so i stood in the road in front of her (a risky thing to do!!!) and handed her the note and asked her to get in touch. she agreed and was terribly polite but managed not to apologise.
an hour later she sent me a text with her name and contact details and said to show her the bill once i;d got the work done... yeah, whatever!!!!! still no apology either...

i replied saying i would do the work myself and just wanted the price to cover used parts sourced through the owners clubs and it would be about £100 which i reckon is more than fair. iadded that she was lucky to miss anything expensive.
no labour, no new parts apart from the number plate and holder, no expensive paintwork.

i'll get in touch this evening saying i've sourced the parts i need and want to pop over one evening to collect the cash.

that's fair enough isn't it? sure i could really try my luck or try and screw her through insurance but that's not my style. we all pay enough for insurance without people profiteering from things.

[wannabe]

ask for some compensation for lost time.

(is she fit?)

[gareth]

susan boyle's ugly sister....

[Dezzy]

Exactly what I would do. If you get any chew over the amount get down a few the most expensive bodyshop's locally for a quote.

That will make a 1er seem more than fair.

[Andyboy]

About 20 years ago I was parked outside a post office. Some bint in a Golf parked not next to me, but right behind me, despite there being a space.

"Excuse me, I need to get out"

"Tough" she retorts as she flounces off. So I opened the unlocked Golf, released the handbrake wherupon the Golf rolled back about 20 feet and crashed heavily into a Grundon bin. I then buggered off sharpish, but gave her a cheeky beep of the horn as I disappeared up the road.

[ronseal123]

I love stamping the brakes on at hi-speed when some fool is harassing your rear.

They always immediately vanish once they've been shocked with a taste of the Mad Max Psycho Death Brake maneuver.

have to be carefull playing that game, i used to always do it then did it once in a little corsa works van and the guy in the mondeo who was driving on my back bumper lost it...rolled three times and ended up on his roof in the ditch beside the motorway....

when i stopped laughing i did check if he was ok which he was but wasn't best pleased.....luckily the police belived me when i said the car in front of me had breaked suddenly...

i think this was only because a few of the cars that had stopped told the old bill how he was driving like a complete knob...

dont judge me but i still thought it was f-in funny...

[Martinaston]

I did that and watched as the idiot behind shat his pants
For some reason his journey lost all urgency after that.

A friend of mine has the habbit of cutting handbrake cables when somethings at the entrance to his drive.

[gareth]

haha, totally deserved!

i once had a mk2 astramax van (best £50 i've ever spent!!!!) and has some merc driving executive knob tailgating me and trying to overtake while also on the phone, driving along a 30mph stretch too. we came to a roundabout frequented by the police and he tried to overtake me mid roundabout so i just slammed the brakes on midway through. he smacked the back, set off his airbags and made a real mess! the police just about was this from the other side of the roundabout and came over and did him for using his phone and driving without due care and attention! the cheeky policeman asked me if my van was ok to drive now, i pointed out that he's actually bent the rear bumper straighter than it was before!!!!! priceless!

another good one... i have a wierdy god botherer church just round the corner from me and every sunday they all used to choose to park over my drive which also has double yellows and is on the corner of a junction. they soon stopped when each sunday one of them would return to the car to find it locked up but parked in the middle of the road with a traffic warden in attendance. easy to do... hook up towrope to M30 powered beastie, tow car out of the way, call local parking office, sit inside and watch as it all kicks off!

[Dezzy]

haha, totally deserved!

i once had a mk2 astramax van (best £50 i've ever spent!!!!) and has some merc driving executive knob tailgating me and trying to overtake while also on the phone, driving along a 30mph stretch too. we came to a roundabout frequented by the police and he tried to overtake me mid roundabout so i just slammed the brakes on midway through. he smacked the back, set off his airbags and made a real mess! the police just about was this from the other side of the roundabout and came over and did him for using his phone and driving without due care and attention! the cheeky policeman asked me if my van was ok to drive now, i pointed out that he's actually bent the rear bumper straighter than it was before!!!!! priceless!

another good one... i have a wierdy god botherer church just round the corner from me and every sunday they all used to choose to park over my drive which also has double yellows and is on the corner of a junction. they soon stopped when each sunday one of them would return to the car to find it locked up but parked in the middle of the road with a traffic warden in attendance. easy to do... hook up towrope to M30 powered beastie, tow car out of the way, call local parking office, sit inside and watch as it all kicks off!

Priceless mate.

[Kos]

About 20 years ago I was parked outside a post office. Some bint in a Golf parked not next to me, but right behind me, despite there being a space.

"Excuse me, I need to get out"

"Tough" she retorts as she flounces off. So I opened the unlocked Golf, released the handbrake wherupon the Golf rolled back about 20 feet and crashed heavily into a Grundon bin. I then buggered off sharpish, but gave her a cheeky beep of the horn as I disappeared up the road.

FPMSL

[gareth]

well,. i've just had confirmation that she's happy for me to collect the £96 i asked for one evening this week

a new plate and surround will cost me £26 posted, the rest is my fitting and bumper realignment fee. 15 mins at £280 per hour

[steve_k]

I'm thinking find out where she lives, pop round one night after the kids have gone to bed. Wait til she's pouring hubby another glass of wine then suprise her when she returns into the living room by tying her husband up and take random slashes at him with the huge knife you brought with you. You may have to donkey punch her to stop her screaming though!

She'll not do it again in a hurry!! Mark my words.

note to self; if i see a red m3 DO NOT cut it up/tailgate it as the driver is a total nutter

[steve_k]

That would have really p1ssed me off!!! It's all scare tactics, he knows he's done something wrong so instead of a wave of acknowlegement he gets on the offensive. I had the same near us where there is a merge in turn section at the end of the by pass. This guy was glued to the bumper of the car in front so I thought I'd just slip it in behind but he slowed do so I couldn't do that (he must have had a bad day). I tried to get in front and behind another couple of times by which time Sarah thought I was going to explode. He was calling me loads of names and I stayed calmer than expected and ask him if he knew what merge in turn meant. The abuse went on for the mile we had to drive on that road then he turned off and I saw where he parked his car. Half of me wanted to have a pop but the other half (Sarah) didn't.
I got up really early the next day and sat on his patio furniture until he came out to get into his car! His face was a picture, I held my hand out to shake his and said 'i'm the f**king ugly bald c**t you wanted to hurt yesterday'.
It's amazing how people change when they're not in their car. I walk passed his house from time to time and if I see him I stand and wave through his living room window - I even showed him our new puppy. He must think I'm mental cos this has been going on for 3 years but I bet he never kicks off in his car anymore. I told him I hadn't decided whether I was going to knock f**k out of him yet!!

thats it i am deffinatly (sp?) staying away from yorkshire for a while, well at least till we know you are back at work.

[jbh]

I lived next door to a primary school a few years back and had my drive way blocked on a regular basis despite double yellow lines and a sign to keep the drive way clear. I also used to drag the cars out the way. the best one was some cheeky bint parked in my drive!! so i blocked her in then refused to move my car.. she started a stink in my drive and wasn't best pleased and the cops arrived and she tried to get me charged.. the end out she was charged for breach of the peace

what really annoyed me though was the ones that would park over the drive and sit in the car and wouldnt move to let me in or out.. I had a few heated discussions over this.. there normal response was "I'm just here to pick my kids up".. yea and your blocking my drive.. there was one offender that had the habit of doing it fairly regular.. so i followed her back to her house about 3 streets away found out where she lived then went back later and parked a 7 1/2 ton ford cargo over her drive and left it there for a few hours..
when i went to collect it she came out on her high horse asking me what i was playing at blocking her drive to which my response was along the lines of well if you don't like it don't do it to others.... strange thing was.. she never blocked my drive after that

[gareth]

i got a text earlier asking if i was responsible for the letter of intended prosecution she recieved from the police today!!!!!!!!!

i pointed out that i was legally obliged to report it within 24 hours and if she'd stopped and owned up to me when she did it and saw me there, i would have let it slide.

i guess the police will not follow it through and i'm not going to try and pull the other parents into court or anything. i suspect this has been a lesson learned though!

she should be here in 40 mins with some cash

[dapperdan8001]

I have only just seen this thread. WTF are these drivers on. Glad to hear you got sum cash out the old bag and I bet the letter from the police got her shaken not stirred.

[polsta]

agreed, reported for the police to have a go at her and i'll get my money back. failing that, i too have a towball, she parks near me, and she has an expensive MPV with a vulnerable intercooler... justice will be executed somehow

hammer, screwdriver, jobs a goodun

f**king hate said drivers , think they own the roads too, never wave a thanks when you let them past,drive annoyingly slow, really cheese me off